Multi-generations

Today I saw a TV show where a Indian couple and an Argentinian man were being interviewed. OK, well it was Oprah's show, and I just hate to admit that I was bored enough to watch it, but I did. Don't judge me, OK?!? I have a couple observations about the conversation with the Indian (Asian) couple. (Needless to say the Argentinian man was charming and beautiful - OK, that's all I'm saying! But I'm going back there!)

When asked if it was true that they were living with the man's parents, he said, "Yes they were". Oprah asked how that was working for them, and he responded, "Well Oprah, do you live with your parents?" Oprah responded "No," and he said, "How's that working for you?". Everyone laughed, but the distinctive cultural response was telling. In India it is the norm for adult children to remain in the son's parent's home when they marry. The Indian actor said that despite the wealth they had gained through their careers, and being well able to afford their own home, it was normal and good for them to follow this tradition. He said that when his grandparent's were alive, they too were part of the family unit under one roof. Now I realize that this is not the norm for many American families. It seems a deeply accepted norm of our contemporary American culture to have families live in separate residences. The implication is that independence and separation is the ultimate goal and is better for all concerned. Somehow, any other living arrangements seem to be substandard, at least by implication. I want to add that this isn't the testimony of generations past in American and of other parts of the world. I want to say that I am fortunate enough to be part of a minority group of multi-generational American families that live together.

This is just a personal beef I guess, but I can't tell you how many times I have people ask me, "Do your daughter and grand kids still live with you?" My daughter gets the same question. When we respond that we are still living together, the reaction varies from, "How long are you going to do that?" to "Wow, still?", and sometimes even, "That would drive me crazy!". Now mind you, it's really no body's business what anyone else's living arrangements are, but I understand that people are interested. Let's assume that we didn't have circumstances that made this an understandable and desirable arrangement during the past years. That set aside I will add that this is a good idea for us now, no matter what past circumstances were. Why?

I get to see God's sovereign plan for my life unfolding in it's own time and way,

I get to experience the liveliness of a household with young children,

I am fortunate enough to see the world anew through their eyes,

I get to see, and be involved with my grand children's spiritual growth,

I get to have the opportunity of being a friend, up close and personal, with my adult daughter,

I get to share the household responsibilities with another adult woman (maybe that polygamy thing had some benefits -- OK, don't have a meltdown, I'm kidding, partly!),

At a stage of my life when I might be tempted to slow down, and slip down the Senior Slippery Slope, I have multiple incentives to stay active and involved,

I don't have to travel great distances to see the kids or my daughter (wish I could say the same for Mark, Azul, and Tao),

If I want to go to a show or out to eat, there's never a lack of someone wanting to join me,

I get to hear a summary of the sermon at another church (Felicia) or what's happening in another churches A.W.A.N.A. (Alex and Izzy) almost every week,

I get to hear Alex singing to himself all day long,

I get to receive some of Isabel's great hugs whenever I want,

I get to have "adult" conversations with Felicia and see what a great young woman she's become,

I get to intimately see what a phenomenal mother my daughter is and the day by day courage of her life,

I get to see my son Matt standing in as a "dad" for his nieces and nephew, showing what an extraordinary Dad he would be,

I can't imagine going a day without seeing, or talking to my daughter and grandchildren,.... and

Well, I guess you get the point. So please do me a favor; if you are curious enough to ask whether part of my family is still living here with me, be aware that I will answer, hopefully cheerfully, but that behind my response, I'm sort of feeling sorry for you if you haven't experienced the joys of this multi-generational blessing.